I met my teacher near the end of college, right when everyone else seemed to have a five-year plan and I had… vibes. I knew I wanted a meaningful life, and I knew I didn’t want to just drift into random jobs, but I had no clear path. No grand vision. No “I’ve always wanted to be X.” Just a lot of anxiety, curiosity, and a longing for something different, to learn to meditate.
Sunyata was a Buddhist meditation teacher, but also a career mentor in tech. At first, that sounded like an odd combo. Later, it made perfect sense. She taught me two things at once: how to train attention, and how to make better decisions in the real world. That combo changed everything.
Over a 20+ year apprenticeship, I learned a lot. Not in a dramatic “one retreat and I was transformed” way. More like steady upgrades over time. Fewer chaotic decisions. More clarity. Better timing. More inner stability in messy situations. And eventually, a deep relationship with the divine golden light of enlightenment. A real, lived spiritual force.
This is a recap of what I actually learned and how it got integrated into modern American life, tech career and all.
1. I had to become an actual adult first
One of the first things she taught me was: meditation doesn’t replace basic life skills. If your finances are a mess, your clothes are sloppy, your desires out of control, your apartment is chaos, and you’re living totally inside your parents’ conditioning, that’s a place to focus on improving.
At the same time, there was a miraculous experience of inner light, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Blasting white light, golden light, otherworldly, mysterious, empowering…and definitely, not imagination. Far beyond anything my normal waking mind or imagination had ever experienced. This gave me a huge burst of inspiration: in early practice with Sunyata, I experienced what felt like a direct influx of divine golden light. It was bright, steady, love, alive. It didn’t replace the work, but it lit the path. That first contact gave me deep confidence that this path was real and it fueled my commitment through the unglamorous early stages.
I started here:
- daily meditation practice
- get a job
- read books, especially books by or about buddhist/enlightened masters
- less TV
- consistent wake/sleep times
- pay bills on time
- keep commitments
- clean my apartment
- eat healthier
- build routines instead of relying on motivation
At the time this felt painfully unglamorous. But it laid the foundation for stability. I learned that awareness grows better in a life that has structure. Being “spiritual” while being irresponsible is mostly self-deception. Being grounded and reliable is way more powerful.
2. Meditation became practical, not WooWoo fluff
I learned to meditate every day, even when I didn’t feel like it. Especially then.
At first, my mind was all over the place: planning, replaying conversations, future-tripping, cravings, random fantasies, self-criticism. Pretty normal. The training was simple: meditate twice a day, focus on the meditation music, a chakra or inner light.
Before, I’d feel stress and instantly do something dumb. After years of practice, there was more pause. More choice. More “Do I actually want to do this?”
That one shift improved almost every part of life.
3. Mindfulness in hard moments is where the real game is
Meditating in a quiet room is great. Using awareness when life is on fire is the real test.
This part of training was really about emotional control in real time: staying aware, staying grounded, and not reacting from a place of ego. I learned that the most costly mistakes usually happen in the first few reactive seconds—when ego, fear, or defensiveness takes over.
I learned life skills:
- genuinely listen to the other person
- be aware, not reactive
- be strategic and reflect before replying in conflict
- stay grounded during stressful situations
- identify my internal state (“anxiety,” “anger,” “ego reaction”) before speaking
- ask clarifying questions before defending myself
These may sound small, but they changed outcomes consistently. I stepped back from engaging in negative things that were just based on my ego triggers. Conversations got cleaner, decisions got smarter, and I had way less regret afterward. Under pressure, awareness gave me control; ego lost some of its influence. Awareness stopped being a concept and became a tactical advantage.
4. Sunyata guided me into tech
When we met, I had no clear career path. She helped me sort signal from noise.
Instead of “What career do I vibe with?”, she had me ask:
- What kind of work holds my attention for hours?
- What problems do I naturally enjoy solving?
- What environments make me sharper instead of drained?
- What career will enable me to pay the bills, and live an independent life?
Software engineering kept showing up as a fit: systems thinking, creativity plus logic, real-world usefulness, and lots of room to grow. She helped me build a path into it. Computer school (bootcamp), books, projects, interview prep, and realistic timelines.
5. Software engineering became part of awareness training
Coding trained my mind almost like meditation did. Coding required clarity. Debugging required patience. Architecture required long-range thinking. Team collaboration required emotional regulation whether I liked it or not.
I started protecting deep-focus blocks, reducing context switching, and writing with more intention. Less frantic output, better quality. This helped career growth, but more importantly it made work feel aligned instead of chaotic.
6. I learned to navigate life and work strategically
This apprenticeship wasn’t about becoming passive or “just accepting everything.” It was very strategic.
I learned to:
- separate facts from emotional story
- identify the real bottleneck
- map options and tradeoffs
- choose timing carefully
- communicate clearly without drama
- document work and advocate for myself
This helped with promotions, job changes, team politics, conflict, burnout risks, and big life decisions. Awareness plus strategy is a strong combo. You see more clearly and move more effectively.
7. Friendships with other students became a huge support system
The sangha friendships were real—not performative “spiritual community” vibes, but actual mutual support.
We practiced together, helped each other through difficult times, career pivots, life issues, ego reactions, and plain old life confusion. We also laughed a lot, and learned to love and accept each other.
I learned relationship etiquette the practical way:
- don’t offer advice unless invited
- don’t gossip and call it “processing”
- apologize directly when you mess up
- respect boundaries
- keep confidences
- don’t use Buddhist language to avoid accountability
That saved a lot of relationships from unnecessary weirdness.
8. Desert trips were like life reset buttons and empowerments
Our trips to the desert were some of the most transformative parts of training. They were huge empowerments. Immersion into the ancient mystical enlightenment teachings.
9. I learned to chill out, have fun, and stop taking myself too seriously
As a sangha, we joked around, had parties, danced often, took ourselves less seriously, and had fun. That lightness was essential.
Letting go and being silly wasn’t a distraction from practice. It was part of becoming less self-obsessed and connecting with the hilarious deeper nature of existence.
Integrating ancient teachings into modern American life is possible
I didn’t move to a monastery. I worked in tech, paid rent, managed deadlines, had relationships, dealt with modern chaos. The teachings still worked.
Impermanence helped with layoffs, market shifts, and change.
Non-attachment helped with ego hits and status anxiety.
Mindful speech helped in meetings and relationships.
Ethics helped with choosing projects and teams.
The biggest integration insight: ancient teachings are not relegated to the past; they are applicable here and now.
10. Connecting with the golden light
The inner light. The divine light, transmitted through a real enlightened lineage. This miraculous experience started for me early on and has persisted off-and-on throughout the years. My meditation and awareness has definitely hit higher realms than I could have even imagined. But, it’s not a linear progression. There’s been ups-and-downs, starts-and-stops, failure and success. But, always in the background, a love of light.
11. What 20+ years added up to
After two decades, the biggest result isn’t a title, a mystical identity, or a perfect life. It’s this:
I know how to navigate life with awareness.
I can meditate, still my thoughts, and connect with the light.
I can handle uncertainty without immediately panicking.
I can make decisions with more clarity and less noise.
I can recover faster when I get knocked off center.
I can work in a demanding tech environment without losing myself.
I can often sense when something is aligned and when it isn’t.
I can love more.
And most importantly, I trust the golden light as an ongoing beacon. It’s something directly experienced, and strengthened through practice.
Meeting my teacher at the end of college gave me career direction into software engineering, yes. But the deeper gift was learning how to live deliberately: grounded, aware, strategic, and connected to the light. A source of guidance that continues to shape my life.
That has been the real apprenticeship.